So, what's it all about? Here's the words, culled from hours of patient listening and walking down the street singing (quietly) to myself. If you find meaning, excellent, if you identify, cool. If you think is sucks, well that's Ok too, but whatever you get, pop over to TALK and share ;-)
There are themes in these songs. The most common is love in all its forms and the abuse of that love. It is the treatment and intensity of the themes that set them apart. Sure, there's loads of good songwriters out there, I'm not being a Silver-facsist or anything, but among the lyrics are tales of lost babies, confused minds and inevitable endings. It's like that, and that's the way it is. You'll notice the odd repetition of an image or metaphor- hearts in mouths, rage, the two edged (s)word 'baby' and a lot of stuff from the veiw point of the eternal child within us all. Anna says she writes about ex-boyfriends a lot, fine, we shall not pry, but she also rails at pop 'culture' and the banalities of modern music/ fashion/ politics. The last one is a favourite of Martin. Silverman is the synergy of two forms of militancy, a guitar, a synth and an attitude.
Some of the transcriptions below might be a bit dodgy, especially for 'Speed Of Life' tracks but I fill in the holes eventually. And if someone would care to stretch their ears round the spoken word of 'darling darling', please feel free to share...
Egg
Time Is A Blade
I've got my arms tight, tight around you/ You've got my heart crushed, crushed beneath you/My hands to hesitant to touch, touch you/ My eyes say too much/ I'll hide, hid them from you/ I compare, I compete/ I'm jealous, I'm jealous of everything/ Even water has more beauty than I could ever, ever hope for/You're one star you burn my lips when I breathe in, breathe in, breathe out/ You're one man turns my stomach when I fall in, /Fall in, fall out/ Time is a blade/ It cuts through in space.
Love Me Too
You know I'm a fragile girl/ But you'll never know how I really feel/ Somedays I need all of your love/ Somedays all of your love isn't strong enough/When the world slows down enough so I can sleep/ And the darkness lifts to let me breathe/ Then I'll be who you want me to be/ We'll have something between us again that we both need/ I love, I love you/ Love me too.
I Get Nervous
Now I can't read but you know I used to/ Now I don't think but I think I ought to/ Now I don't care because I don't want to/And I don't feel because it became too painfull/I get nervous/ It's not an attractive/ Attractive quality/ And I can't help myself/ Only you can, you can help me/ Saw someone kissing someone I'd love to kiss/ Saw someone failing somethig they tried to do/ I can't expect, I don't normally get/ And I don't feel it because it became too painful/Who was the Sphinx? A strange character, half-man half-beast. In Greek mythology, he lived on a rock just outside Thebes and no traveller could escape him. To each passer-by he would ask the same question: What creature is in the morning on four legs, at noon on two and in the evening on three?" The answer was simply: man. What confused passers-by was not only the strange way the enigma was formulated, but also the fact that man is a profound mystery to himself. And this has not changed: we understand more and more things that happen in nature and in our bodies, but the complex world of our thoughts and emotions often remains a big question. Perhaps then the most important and occult (that is hidden, secret) aspect of the question of the Sphinx is simply: what is the essence of Man? Like the Sphinx, Man is double: at the same time material and spiritual, scientific and religious, rational and imaginative, barbaric and civilised, destructive and creative. These opposites are not contraries; instead, they complement each other. They are the two sides of the coin on which is impressed the archetype of Man. Creation, which tries to express abstract ideas or impulses in a physical work, can help us unify these opposites in us. And it is not the privilege of an artistic or intellectual elite; it is open to all. (Trans.)
All My Life
I envy your miserable life/ The distance you are driven/ The suffering you endure/ Your painful precision/ I covet your beautiful voice/ Every word you've ever written/ Your wisdom and your age/ The precision of your pain/I lay on the grass looking at the stars/ Through satellites and dust/Through universe and time/I saw that I was blind/All my life we buy dreams / Sugar coated to make them taste so sweet/All my life we buy fantasies/ We get them home but they're never what they seem/ There are delusions and there are dreams/ And different shades of white/ The cold reality is painful and precise/ Bloodsucker suck it all up/ No damage limitation/ You're jealous of what I am not/ You mutilated angel/ I lay on the grass looking at the stars/ Through satellites and dust/ Through universe and time/ I saw that I was blind.
How Cruel
You went out last night and blew your mind into peices/ Now your eyes have turned the colour of her lipstick/ Didn't come home tome for the very last time last night/How true, how cruel, what a terrible thing to do/if you're not fucking up, you're fucking down/Well let's see what you can do when I'm not around/ What you don't know will never hurt you/ But what I know is really going to hurt you/ How true, how cruel, what a terrible thing to do/ How sore, how raw, what a fundamental flaw/ Well I think we both agree/ Our love has never been easy/ Now we've kicked it round the house for far too long/ Other peoples hands on our love have left it cold and greasy/ How true, how cruel, what a terrible thing to do/ How wrong, how unkind, what a terrible waste of time.
The Blue Tree
The blue tree/ Feeds on electricity/ White dove/ All you need is chemistry/ How come/ Nothing is reality/ This time of year/ Everything is misery/ They hold a mirror/ And we see what we want to see/ Cold sweat/It's not rock 'n' roll or sexy/ Niagra Falls/ Needs a lot of rainy days/ Supernatural/ Everything can be explained/The universe is in her head/The origins of life and death/ The tree is blue/ Her lips are red/I thought I heard her whisper my name/ In certain light/ All we see is clarity/Eternal life/ We don't have the energy/ Niagra Falls/ Needs a lot of rainy days/ Supernatural/ Everything can be explained.
Gun At My Head
I know I'm wrong but I'm not feeling sorry/ I don't mind I'm not the feeling sorry kind/She's got a gun at my head/ Gun at my head/ Won't let me forget/ What I've done/ Her bullet's silver and cold/ I do what I'm told/ I'm as good as gold/ As good as dead/ She's made of paper and string/ She knows everything/ But I don't care/ My conscience clear and cold/ I do what I'm told/ My money's fake/ My payment's late/ I'm the gold of fools/It's not me you're dreaming of/ I can turn my back, but not the clock.
Black Rainbow
Spend our money on distractions/ To displace our emotions/ Exhaust sleeps with ambition/ In overpriced accomodation/ With telephones and bills/ Everybody's shouting/ And all I feel is dirty/ Everything's distorted/ By rays of different waves/ To make it all look normal/ To make it feel OK/ I know you really want me/ But you can't have me/I think I'll sit in this window/ I think I'll tease you/ I think I'll please me/ Somethings you never know/ Like what's at the end of my black rainbow/You know we've been cabled in/With intellectual morphine/We want to be outrageous/But we don't even know it/ Only victory's impressive/ The vanquished are neglected/Honesty's rejected/ All I feel is dirty/ All I feel's complicit/Now I'm not playing for a gallery/ Or some index-linked academy/ We all get judgemental/Words best left unexplained/ Places you'll never go/ Like all the way to the end of my black rainbow.
Hit
I want a David Byrne suit/ An Elvis Presley mirrot/ Then could be commercial/ And then the world would love me/ I could learn to hate men/ Play guitar left-handed/ Then I could be successful/ And never be forgotten/I go to bed, then I dream all night/ I get up and I fantasize/ I work all day, watch the world go by/ Tell myself it's going to be all right/ I could be ill-mannered/ Smash up my life savings/ Cultivate a habit/ Then I'd be universal/Go down to the crossroads/ Get a Britney haircut/ A celebrated lover/ Then I would be forever/ And in my head where the stars align/ The air gets hot, when I play with fire/ I work all day, dream all night/ I tell myself, it's just a matter of time.
Whatever Turns You On
I say I won't but I do/ What's a feckless girl supposed to do?/Your lovers come, your lovers go/ Now you don't want friends, just people you know/ Look into my eyes/ My thousand yard stare/ It's time I washed you/ Out of my hair/ Catch a falling star/ Put it in your mouth/ Whatever turns you on/ Turns you on/ You set my soul on fire/ Then you blow me out/ Where did I go wrong/ You say you won't but you do/ How's a faithless boy supposed to choose?/ Passion, it ebbs and passion flows/ You don't want me/ Just someone to screw/I look into your mind/ See you don't care/ It's time I washed you out of my hair.
Beautiful Brown Leather Gloves
Now I don't trust a word that I say/ I know I talk a good game/ It's all veneer/ Pressure was our enemy/ Told us lies about ourselves/ That we believed/ Slowly we have come undone/ Don't really know who we've become/ Working out the meaning of/ The word love/ Opportunity/ Slipped through both our hands/ We couldn't use it/ Time, time pulled us apart/ Choice can make you weak/ When you abuse it/ Beautiful brown leather gloves.
You And Your Mouth
You and your mouth/ You kiss my indecision/ You have been blessed/ You were before I met you/ I don't appreciate you/ As opften as I should do/ That I freely confess/ I know I don't deserve you/ And your mouth/ I thought life was just a test/ You taught me life's for living/ We both do our best/ Keep passing open windows/I will be wreckage/ You whisper words of wisdom/I have been cursed/ I was before I met you/ You and your mouth/ I'm immature and lazy/You're all I ever wanted/ All I do is promise/ All you do's forgive me/I will be nothing/ And you will be my witness/ We are dispair/ I know you don't deserve this/ You and your mouth.
Taken With You
Am I unclean?/ Am I imperfect?/ Am I impossible for you?/ Am I too blonde?/ Am I too pale?/ Am I too browneyed for you?/Do I sing the wrong song when you hear me?/ Take, take what you want from me/ I'm falling, I'm drowning/ I'm taken, I'm taken with you/Am I impure?/ Am I unfair?/ Am I too damaged for you?/ Too complicated/ Am I a bore?/Is this too easy for you?/Do I think the wrong thoughts when you're near me?/ Have you ever really wondered why I'm quiet when whe're in the same room?/Did you ever really care that I fell for?
Magnificent
I think I need some peace and quiet/ Remember to shut your mouth/ Calm down before you speak/ You're spilling your guts again/ Oh look, the world, exposing yourself like a windscreen sheild/ Forget the poetry thay you were forced to learn when you were seventeen/ Re-write the books your father read when he was half your age/ Can't do you any harm/ Can't get any worse/ I know that this is wrong/ But it's real/ It's what I like the best/ You could take your heart out of my mouth/ But it won't make any difference/ Blindfold your eyes against the sun/ If you stare too long/ You're wide eyed and innocent/ Wide eyed and magnificent/ I am jealous of myself/ For getting all the attention/ I know that makes me selfish/ But I'm feeling indifferent/ You'll never know that I'm sitting here in your clothes/ See how close I can get before we touch/ Take a breath now, deep and slow/ Hands behind your back/ Turn your eyes up to the sky/ Space is where it's at.
darling darling
Absolutely/ Completely/Protection/ And safety/ Your guidance/ You hold me/ In safe hands/Forever/ darling darling.
Complicated
You're the spark in my life/I am dreaming of you and me/ But I'm trying not to get hurt/ Please excuse me/ If I want to be alone sometimes/ Understand/ I'm a little complicated/ Don't try too hard/ Just accept that/ I need you in my life/ And I'm sorry / If it doesn't appear that way/ I'm a little complicated/ If I fall/ Will you catch me?/ If I cry hard will you stop me?/ God knows how strong I'm trying to beIf I'm losing/ Then I've already lost/ I'm a little complicated.
My Overflowing Ashtray Heart
You really love it when I spill my guts/ Makes you think you know me/ Maybe I should just shut up/ I've already said too much/ Maybe you're here to tempt me/ And see how far I let you go/ Don't need no-one to break me/ I can do that on my own/ I can't help the way I feel/ Somebody said it scares you/ My overflowing ashtray heart/ I've already gone too far
Ctrl Alt Del
I know you know it/ You know I know it too/ But if it was all left up to me/ I'd leave it all down to you/ You took our love into the basement/ You put a bullet through it's head/ I love, I love you too/ Were the very last words it said/ Oh my love has seen a lot of change/ I had a life before you/ Now I must learn to live again/ Oh my love has felt a lot of pain/ I never loved before you/ Will I ever love again?/ I am denial/ And you're God's honest gospel truth/ It's not for lack of trying/ That we've got nothing left to prove/You took out life together / And then you rang its sorry neck/ I miss you, I miss you too/ Were the very last words it said/ Show me a future one day at a time/ It's only momentum that keeps me alive.
Secret Baby
There are parts of me you will never see/I keep them hidden/ Buried deep/ There are sides of me/ That will never show/ We've all got secrets/ Places we don't go/ Cos I just want to be, evereybody want's to be your secret baby/ Yes I just want to everybody wants to be your secret baby/ There are parts of me that will never be/ I keep them safe/ Under lock and key/There are sides of me that will never show/ We've all got secrets scratched on... his starry diary???/Maybe you will never know/ It's something I will never show/ Maybe you will never know/ It's better that way.
Don't Leave This World Without Me
Baby tiger/ Eat me alive/ Tell me how I taste/ Do I taste all righr?/ Deep dream diver/ You make me feel alive/ Baby grip my hips/ Teach me how to fly/ Don't leave this world without me/ Levitation/ Tell me what you find/ You say life's a bitch/ Well, baby, so am I/ ...Something or other.../What a way to go/ Painful, slow/ Life is just a dream.
11:11 (formerly Fcuk U Fcuk Me)
He says he feels alone with a handful of posessions/ Obscene and self obsessions/ That never really matter/ The feelings he can't express/ That won't even be defined/ Selfish choking wreck/ Tender twisted mind/ Unlovable/ Unforgivable/ Like a photo in a cage/A timid wounded rage/Bloody, bruised and stained/ By vanity and age/ His head is thick with plans/ Hus heart is busting still/ He talks like he understands/The meaning of sacrifice/ Unlovable/ Unforgivable/ Inconsolable/ Irretrieveable/I didn't choose this path/ Or who to be/ I didn't break this life/ It broke me/I didn't take this chance/ It took me/ I didn't make this choice/ Of how to feel/ So fcuk you, fcuk me, fcuk every- fcuking-body/ Says he feels alone/ What might have been has gone/ Now all that's left is grief for the ghosts of the unborn.
Can I have My Heart Back Please?
What can I do?/ I can't do anything/ I'm singing in your face/ But you're just not listening/Maybe you know/ Baby you see it/ I tell you everything you ever wanted to know about love/ We talk a lot about love/ In our lives we live without love/ It's all over...something/ I took you every place you ever wanted to go/ You wouldn't thanks me/And I told you everything you ever wanted to know but you wouldn't listen/ Can I have my heart back please?/...we're nothing in the stream that tie together everything???/ This feels like the end/ This is so frightening/ Maybe I'm wrong/ Maybe you're cruel.
Be Beautiful
Don't be so sure/ That you can go/ It's not a competition/ Protest too much that you don't care/ That careing's not your position/It hits so hard it hurts like hell/ It bites so deep/Should come as no great suprise/ You're on your own/And I'll lose myself in it all/ I lost my youth through it all/ And every sleepless night/ Every nervouse conversation/ And anxious situation/ That never deserved explaining/Baby, I do my best/ There ain't no big deal/ Just follow the way thay/ Feel like want you to feel/ Baby be real/ And be beautiful/ ...something... to find/ But I will never fail you / Or doing it how we feel/ I want you to feel like I feel/ Two fof a kind.
Nothing I Do, Nothing I Say
There is nothing / But an illusion here/ My eyes are fake...?/ To lure you in/ Sit you down/ Make you fall in love with me/I'm all sung out/ I'm too shattered for another round... the grass...the kitchen table...?/ But you still stay cos you don't want to leave/ And you don't want to stay for anymore/ Now I'm falling in to you, to you/ I'm falling into you, to you/ And nothing you do will ever make me change my mind/ Nothing you say will ever make me change my mind/ You're still leaving/ You're crossing the room/ You're heading for the door/ And I'm just watching/ I don't feel a part of this/ It's a chapter in someone elses book.
Travel Sick
I have a car, he says/ Would you like to ride for a while?/ I don't remember saying yes/ But he insists I did/ I deserve respect, he says/ It's been a long time/ A very long time/ Of silence for me/ I'm, running fast now/ I can't catch my breath/ I'm too scared to exhale/ Save my life tonight/ I'll sell my pride/ I'll sell my soul/ Just spare my life tonight/ I can't go/ He said so/ I can't go/ He said so/ I'll write a song I think/ Bitter, twisted, incomplete/ I'm fighting clever now/ On my lips, poison sweet.
Loving Me
Wait for me/ Patience let me take my time/ Your flowers won't rush me/ Your words rush through me like a breeze/ And loving me/ Is all I try to do/ Loving me/ Is the best thing to do/ Speak in silence/ Be quiet/ Have some dignity/ And your kind words won't push me/ Those words rush through me like a breeze.
Yes I Do Care
I've got my head back/ It's sore as hell/ I'll hide my hands/ Bitten and raw/ I'll make my peace soo/ It's sickly and sweet/ But I'll carry on/ Pretend not to see/ Yes I do care/ What you think of me/ Yes I do care/ What you think of me/ Yes I do care/ What you say about me/ I need some faith/ Any faith will do/ I wanna be so high up/ So it scares me.
Happy Birthday Jesus Christ
To absent friends/ Under starry, starlit nights/ So long ago/ Since...markham and sense wise???/ Fond memories/ Of Grandad knocking over the wine/ Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday Jesus Christ/ Say good night/ kiss your... something or other/ In time/ Be whole/ Be close?/ Care/ Goodnight/ Again, again/ Til next year.
God knows.